I force myself to laugh, which is a personal form of torture and refers to the social expectation of permanent cheerfulness. Internalized phrases such as Lach doch mal, Du musst lachen, Warum lachst du nicht? and Lachen! are spoken by myself from off-screen and repeated for 92 minutes. Sometimes pleading, sometimes impatient and emphatic. The prompts give me the corresponding instructions in the video and leave me and the audience with the question:
Why aren't you laughing?
video excerpt